Iffy Times

Lately it seems like I keep changing my mind. At first I was totally bored with work and so frustrated. Which don't get me wrong, it hasn't changed, I still don't do much with work, but I've come to terms with it and am ok.

At first I was set and determined that if I was offered a new job with my former boss that I'd jump at the opportunity but as of late I really start to wonder...will I really jump or hang out here? Where I'm at with current job I can get away with Murder and still be employed. I can miss work, take days off, come in late, leave early and its not a problem. The guys are very laid back. I can probably even miss a whole week of work and be ok. If I moved to a new job I'd start all over, and more than likely be stuck at work until 5 where now I leave at 4 or earlier if I'm really bored. And its been kinda nice leaving at 4...anywho back to my "iffy" mind. I just can't decide lately as I can see pro's and con's for both jobs.

More than likely I'll still just sit it out and see what happens.

Friendship Ramblings

Friendships are a wonderful thing. They can be traumatizing, glorious, and tiring not to mention many other aspects that my mind is not thinking of.

Looking back on the many different friends I’ve had has made me realize that I am horrible at keeping in touch with people, let alone my family. I can count on one hand friends that I’ve been close to, that have helped me through the hardest times of my life. Some are gone; others I've lost touch with, yet others are still near. The saddest part is those that still live relatively close...in Utah... I don't reach out and keep in touch with them. Somehow as I was going through life my mind interpreted talking to people and asking questions as being intrusive, and is should not be done. I am trying to break this habit, but it’s not going very well.

I have two friends who recently had a child, and still I have not gone to visit them. I keep saying…well I don’t have their address besides they wouldn’t want a visitor with a new baby…which a part of my mind believes yet the other part is screaming as loud as it possibly could (mind you it is barely heard) that its malarkey!! People love having visitors, and they don’t consider them a nuisance. Yet again the louder portion of my mind says that.
I would like to say thank you to all my friends, and my family. You mean so much to me and I am so thankful that they stick with me. Both during the easy times of life and they trying ones which I tend to hide I would love to say I’ll be better and call at least each month, or write, but I’d hate to disappoint anyone. But I will try, I won’t promise anything but I’ll try.